Sunday, 17 March 2013

Batons & Baltis

Yeah, it's that time of the year again, when the 3rd year people dust off their responsibilities and let the juniors get dirty. So, 'Passing on the batons', as they call it, is basically the act of turning few core-members into coordinators, helping them accomplish their long-held dream of dining at VGH wearing suits; while the borderline-fortunate are granted posts like Hypothetical Head, Nonsensical Head, Psychological Head, Empirical Head, Ironical Head etc And the rest are given an imaginary balti to cry over while they ponder upon the futility of their lives.

Well these selections happen in various ways. Interviews are involved in most cases and so are SOPs (Statement Of Power-hungriness) In the SOP, you are asked to write what you have done/ pretended to have done/ accredited to yourself what someone else has done, for the department/club. And also, why you feel you are the only deserving person in the Milky Way and the neighboring Andromeda region, capable of holding that post. The second question is obviously answered in the most honest and sincerest way possible, with the applicant humbly recounting all his/her virtues and merits, real and probable. In short, if egotism wiped off, SOP would be its toilet-paper.

Then comes the interview part, where the applicant is questioned by the previous coordination committee on his ideas, opinions, interests, cuisine preferences, views on liberalism, religious beliefs, past medical history and so on. Here is an excerpt from one such interview I eavesdropped into-

Senior- So, what has been your contribution to the department?
Junior- I've devotedly attended all the 5 outings and have contributed Rs 200 for my food and transport. But seriously I'm too bored of always going to Bogmallo for the outings now. Seriously. It has been so many times, that nowadays whenever John sees me entering his shack he is like, 'Dude! Not you again.' But the chicken lollipop there is incredibly awesome. Anyways, what was the question again?

Senior- Where would you like to see this department in the future?
Junior- Utorda. I mean it is the most awesome white-sand beach I've ever seen. And did you eat at Zeebop? It's amazing. Yeah, we'll go there next time when I'll give my chief-coordinator treat. *wink*wink*

Senior- Tell us why you feel that you are best-suited for the posts of Chief-co, Waves-co, Spree-co, Quark-co, Zephyr-co, I-have-no-clue-why-this-post-exists-co, *Insert-a-stylish-sounding-word-here*-organizer, *Another-one-just-for-you*-manager, and 52 other randomly generated posts.
Junior- I have the potentiality, the capability, the caliber, the capacity, the talent, the aptitude, the competence, the faculty, the... Okay I've run out of all the synonyms now. What's the next question?

Senior- Who would you like to remove from the department, if you could?
Junior- That jerk named XYZ. I mean he's such an asshole he almost looks like one. But I only wish he could keep his shit to himself. LMAO. What? Didn't get it?

Senior- C'mon now! You don't get brownie points for being a bitch. And what's your CGPA?
Junior- Dude! CGPA seriously? What are you? My mom?

Senior- Let me give you a hypothetical situation, in which a girl from some outside campus comes to our fest, Waves, gets kidnapped, is released in BITS Hyderabad on-stage in a fashion-show, and gets all famous on FB, and gets some 873 likes on her pics. Now, how will you prevent our department from earning a bad reputation for this incident?
Junior- I would totally take her to Waves-ball and write a story about us on BITS Confessions. I just love  hypothetical situations.

Senior- Who of the other applicants do you think, should be given those posts you have applied for?
Junior- Well, throw me a title and I won't give a damn even if the rest of the posts are allotted via a game of musical chairs, played using Reshmaiyya's discography, on a broken gramophone. But as you are asking let me figure out. Okay choose one of these fingers. Yeah, make ABC Spree-co and PQR Quark-co. Now choose again. What? It was your question!

Senior- Okay. We are done.
Junior- Smoking Amazeballs! I'm the chief right? Wait I'm calling up my mom.

Well, I'm surely a racist when it comes to life. I want it to be fair. But sometimes we fail in getting what we want. Some feel infuriated and blame others, some feel defeated and distressed, while some accept it and rectify themselves. But the trick is to move on. With optimism and dignity. And if we contemplate on a philosophical plane; whenever it seems like the world is not responding to our pleas in a... HOLY SHIT! The video I clicked on yesterday has finally buffered. Catch you later. Bye!


  1. Love the ending. Also like how the thing ends with something starting. :P
    baaki li8 ra. :P Seems you're concentrating a lot on t2... :|

    1. Don't blame T2 rey!
      It's completely innocent :D

  2. It is not interest rather power which interests people.

    1. Not in all cases though.Some are seriously interested.
      And to be true, who doesn't love power here :D

  3. Our clubs/departments need more transparency.

    1. Hmm...(Too ignorant to make a clever remark :D)

  4. You could have titled your blog "Balton's". Haha.
    Sorry for the poor joke, might be because of the sorrowful state of my 'head'-less soul. Funny read, as always :D

    1. I swear I thought of the exact same thing yesterday (that Balton's one):D
      And Shukriya!! ^_^

  5. "Smoking Amazeballs" cracked me up. And so did the rest of the post!
    Nice writing style, as always :D
    Keep it up xD

  6. Hillarious!
    *Statement of power hungriness*
    Good job buddy!

  7. Arey u forgot to include the post of "IDEALIST" ;) there .. is this the way ur interview went :P

    1. Damn! Who's this?? My interview was better. I was my usual. Made into their 'bucket'-list. :D